From Burnout to Balance: Redefining Success

I used to think I had to work harder than everybody else to be successful.

That was just the way I was brought up: “You gotta work harder!!”

As a kid I was also told that I wasn’t that smart. That stuck with me for a long time, and it also reinforced my belief that I had to work harder than anybody else.

I became a serial entrepreneur at age 21. And just like many of you, I worked hard all of my life. I was successful, but I was also burned out a lot. It was draining to always push yourself.

I also have regrets. I believe I wasn’t as present as a mother as I should have been. I became a single Mom of twins and the pressure to make money increased. I wanted to do well for us and provide us with a financially free life. But did I miss the point?

Long days and short nights. It was a lonely path. Every time I achieved another milestone, I raised the bar higher and pushed myself just a notch harder.

In my mid 40s, I had enough. I was sick of this endless loop of achieving and raising the bar higher. There had to be another way. A way you could actually enjoy. A way that felt better. A way that did not feel self-destructive – physically and emotionally.

It took me a while to free myself from the shackles of the programming I had received - that only hard work could lead to success - and the self-limiting belief I had adopted that I wasn’t smart.

It happened when I was so completely burned out, that I was so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, that I could no longer bear going on. And this is when I was told the following:

“Relax into the space of expansion.”

It is true when they say that the teacher appears when the student is ready.

At first, I did not really understand what that meant, but it so resonated with me. And I wanted to believe that there was a kinder way. I let it sit and kept going back to it. Initially, my rational mind did not agree with this at all, because it believed:

Working harder = success.

Relaxing = lazy = loser.

But my soul did not let this one go.

With the help of a coach, I learned to relax into present peace. It’s like ice cream on a sunny day melting down the cone.

I feel my body relax. My heart opening up. And my mind fills with joy. I am courageous and adventurous, and I am in a place of knowing that everything and anything is possible. It’s a beautiful high that you recognize when you feel it. Because we have all felt this way as children – it’s a beautiful way of getting lost in time and space.

It’s when we are no longer pushed or pulled by fear – fear in the form of memories of what had been in the past and fear of worst-case scenario imaginations for the future.

Admittingly, changing your mind is not a straight line. I still have days where I fall back to the old way of thinking and doing. But now I have an awareness for when I am just doing, and I am driven by fear, and I can course correct pretty quickly.

Present peace is the space of expansion. It’s the place where you open your heart and mind to inspiration and creativity. It’s where creativity flows. It’s where it is no longer transactional.

A place where you go beyond what you thought was possible.

A place you could have never reached with hard work alone.

A place where being is so much more productive than achieving.

A place where leaning into your heart and soul creates a life that is truly joyful and meaningful.

And isn’t all of this, not just what we are looking for in life, but what gives life meaning and fulfillment as a whole? To me, this is the new hustle. Reframing and redefining hustle from a place of fear, for survival, for money to hustling from a place of love, for meaning and for thriving.